Only Me_A Second Chance Romance_Standalone Dark Romance Read online

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Epilogue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Epilogue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Epilogue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Epilogue

  Only Me

  Vivian Ward

  Derek Masters

  Always Booked Publishing

  Copyright © 2017 by Derek Masters

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  For my Family

  Contents

  Derek’s Dark Desires

  Vivian Ward Newsletter

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Epilogue

  Derek’s Dark Desires

  Vivian Ward Newsletter

  Our Dirty Secret

  Vivian Ward Newsletter

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Epilogue

  Also by Vivian Ward

  Vivian Ward Newsletter

  About the Author

  About the Author

  Also by Vivian Ward

  One Wild Night

  Vivian Ward Newsletter

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Epilogue

  Vivian Ward Newsletter

  About the Author

  Also by Vivian Ward

  Share Me

  Derek’s Dark Desires

  1. Kayla

  2. Dillon

  3. Kayla

  4. Dillon

  5. Kayla

  6. Dillon

  7. Kayla

  8. Dillon

  9. Kayla

  10. Dillon

  11. Kayla

  12. Dillon

  13. Kayla

  14. Dillon

  15. Kayla

  16. Dillon

  17. Kayla

  18. Dillon

  19. Kayla

  20. Dillon

  21. Kayla

  22. Dillon

  23. Kayla

  24. Kayla

  25. Dillon

  26. Dillon

  27. Kayla

  Derek’s Dark Desires

  About the Author

  Also by Vivian Ward

  Dare Me

  Vivian Ward Newsletter

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Epilogue

  Vivian Ward Newsletter

  About the Author

  Also by Vivian Ward

  Derek’s Dark Desires

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  Chapter One

  Lucas

  The sun is streaming through the curtains, threatening to scorch my corneas even though my heavy lids are closed tightly. I’ve been nursing my hangover all day, but it hasn’t let up despite being almost 5 in the evening. Hopefully, when the sun goes down, it won’t be as bad.

  Today’s no different than any other day though. Every morning I wake up, and she’s the first thing on my mind. Her name is inscribed in my mind: Toni. She’s usually the last thing I think about before I go to sleep and the first thing that pops in my head every morning.

  Leaning over the edge of my bed, I reach for the bottle of ibuprofen that has a permanent home on my nightstand because of days like today. I guess I can thank the St. Louis City police department for not having to work today since they were the ones who had my driver’s license suspended for DUIs; not that it’s stopped me from driving, but I’ve had to limit the jobs I can accept.

  Instead of taking bids for construction jobs in Illinois, all over Missouri, and parts of Kansas, I’m limited to what’s right here in the immediate St. Louis Metro area. Thank God for rebuilding downtown or I might’ve been homeless, but right now, I’m appreciating the break while it lasts.

  As soon as I successfully complete these mandatory AA meetings that the judge recommended, I can get my license back and won’t have to worry about losing my construction company.

  I guess there’s no one to blame but myself, but blaming yourself sucks, so I blame it on life and the legal system. As high as the crime rate is on the North Side, you’d think the cops would have better things to do than pull someone over because they forgot to use a turn signal. There are about a billion theft crimes, sexual assaults, arsons, and drug traffickers to keep them busy until the next century.

  Grabbing a half-empty beer bottle from last night, I wash down four ibuprofen with the warm, stale beer and flop back onto the mattress. Staring at the crack in the ceiling above my bed reminds me once again how bad this place sucks. I liked it better when Mason and I shared his dad’s house, before he married Penny and had kids.

  He’s such a lucky bastard.

  Actually, I liked it better when I was lying in bed next to Toni every morning. If that were the case, I wouldn’t care where I lived. We could live in a shack or inside a cardboard box. As long as she was with me, I’d be happy.

  Maybe if I would’ve gotten the girl that I was supposed to have had, my life would’ve been better too, but shit doesn’t always work out the way you want it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for Mason, but I miss what we had when we were sharing girls after mine and Toni’s breakup.

  Life was so much easier back then. One of us would find a cute girl, test the waters to see if she was up for a threesome and bam! It definitely helped keep my mind off of her. I spent a lot of years numb, bedding anyone who was willing, trying to fill that empty void. It worked for a little bit, but reality would always catch back up to me.

  When we shared girls, we’d share them like no tomorrow. No relationship, no strings, no commitments; there was only a promise to each other—our pact—and that was once we shared a girl, we always shared her.

  It was a simple rule to keep feelings out of the way so that nobody got hurt, and so that it never ruined our friendship. Mason and I were always like brothers, but now that he’s married, started a family, and began running his own business, things aren’t the same. I don’t have anyone.

  It’s only me.

  Well, me plus Alicia, but she doesn’t count. We’ve never entered an official relationship status, despite what she believes. She might be annoying, but at least I don’t have to spend too much time alone, which is probably the only thing that’s kept me from drinking myself to death.

  There have been a few times when I’ve come close to that point. Things were real bad after I found myself suddenly single for something that I had very little decision in. It sucks to wake up in the ER after they’ve pumped your stomach. I know because it’s happened twice in the last six years. The first time wasn’t too long after Toni ceased to exist in my life, and the second time was on the one-year anniversary of the last time I saw her.

  Glancing at the alarm clock beside my bottle of ibuprofen, I watch the digital numbers flip to 5:02. Right on cue, Alicia calls like she does every day when she gets off of work, but today, she’s not calling to see if I want to grab a bite to eat or hang out.

  “Hello?” I answer, my voice croaking as I try to ignore the jackhammers beating my brains into an oblivion.

  “Lucas? Are you still in bed? You know you need to be up right now,” she says.

  The jackhammers ramp up their speed with each word that vibrates over the phone line.

  “Yeah, I know,” I run my hand through my hair as I sit up on the bed. Looking into the dresser mirror, I can see my disheveled hair sticking out all over the place. “I’m working on it.”

  My eyes are sunken in and the dark circles beneath them look even darker in comparison to my pale skin. That’s what happens when you lose half your work and are never outside. Thanks St. Louis City PD, I think to myself.

  “Your meeting starts in 90 minutes, you better get your ass up and moving.” I don’t respond, which pisses her off as usual when she tries to boss me around. I’ve always liked the girls with daddy issues because they’re easier to control, but Alicia is headstrong and demands control.

  Being with her is a double-edged sword. I want her in my life because it means not being lonely and I need her in my life to help keep me in line, but we’re not a perfect match; not even close. I’m not sure what I’m doing with her, but we have had some pretty good times together, so I outweigh the good with the bad and deal with her because she’s good for me—in a way.

  The same kind of way that your mother would be good for you if you had one. Mine’s been gone so long that I don’t remember her voice.

  “Lucas! Are you listening to me?”

  I nod, even though she can’t see me, “Yeah. I hear you. I’ll be ready, but I don’t see the point.”

  “The point, Lucas,” she clicks her tongue off the roof of her mouth, which usually means I’m going to get an earful. “You need these meetings to get your license back so you can get your construction business back up and running at full speed.” I know what she’s saying is true, but I don’t care anymore. Going to these meetings or getting my license back isn’t going to make me stop drinking, or improve my life in some unforeseeable way. “Just get in the shower, please. I’ll be there in like twenty minutes. Okay?”

  “Whatever, Alicia,” I sigh. “I’ll see you when you get here.”

  Stepping under the shower head, I let the water cascade down my face and body. It feels good, but it’s not enough to get me up and running at full speed. Lathering myself up, I try to scrub away the stench of alcohol so that my hangover’s not so obvious when I show up to this AA meeting tonight.

  As I reach for the power button on the coffee maker, I hear a knock before the front door opens. “It’s just me,” Alicia yells from the living room. “Lucas? Where are you?”

  “In here,” I call from the kitchen. “I’m making some coffee.”

  “Well, don’t you look fab,” she rolls her eyes. “What’d you do? Wake up and start drinking again? You look like shit.”

  “Thanks, you’re gorgeous yourself,” I mock her. “And no, I didn’t wake up and start drinking. You called right as I was opening my eyes, and then I took a shower, and now here I am,” I wave my blue coffee mug in the air.

  She checks her watch. “You better hurry up with that coffee. Your meeting starts in 40 minutes, and you don’t want to be late.”

  “Who gives a shit?” I mumble as I turn to face the coffee pot.

  “Um, the person who has to sign your paper at the end of each meeting? He or she might like to know that you were in full attendance before they sign off on something for
the court.”

  “Yeah, fuck,” I mutter. “I need to find that paper.”

  “Lucas! Tell me your fucking around, and that you know where your paper is,” she says. “How are you going to get your life back in order if you can’t even handle a sheet of paper?”

  “I don’t know, mom,” I mock her. “I’ll think of something.”